TOEFL ライティング対策 Vol. 17(第1回受験)

*Geminiによる採点

今日の題材

10分間の学習を1週間続けて英単語を300個覚える方法が注目を浴びている。やり方は簡単で単語と日本語訳を同時に指差しながら順番に声を出して追っていくだけ。1週間それを続けるだけで結構覚えることができるらしい。裏を返せば、1週間同じ範囲を見返し続ければ英単語を覚えることができることになる。実際、TOEFLまでに覚えたい単語は2000単語あり、上記の勉強法では間に合わない。そのため、1週間同じ単語を見返し続ければ覚えられるという前提のもと1週間1000単語を実践したい。

添削後の回答

The method of memorizing 300 words using 10-minute study for 1 week is gaining attention. This method involves simply pointing to the English word and its Japanese translation simultaneously. I can memorize words by continuing this method for a week. On the other hand, I can memorize English words by reviewing the same material for a week. In fact, I don’t have enough time to remember 2000 words by the TOEFL exam. Therefore, assuming that I can memorize by reviewing, I want to try memorizing 1000 words for 1 week.

自分の解答

The method which memorize 300 spell using 10 minite study for 1 week have been remarkable. It is easy that that method is only persuading spell english and translation of japanese at once with pointing simultaneously. I can remember spells if I continue to do it for 1week. On the other hand, I can remember english spells with refraining same area for 1week. In fact, I don’t have enough time to remember 2000 words by TOEFL exam. Therefore, promise that I can remember if only I refraining same spell for 1week, I want to practice remembering 1000 words for 1week.

Genmiによる講評

減点箇所と減点点数:

  • 文法・構文: 15点
    • 単語のスペルミス: 7点 (memorize -> memorize, spell -> word, refraining -> reviewing)
    • 文法的な誤り: 5点 (have been remarkable -> is gaining attention, that method is only persuading -> the method involves simply pointing to, I can remember spells -> I can memorize words, I can remember english spells -> I can memorize English words, promise that I can remember if only I refraining -> assuming that I can memorize by reviewing)
    • 構文の誤り: 3点 (10 minite study -> 10-minute study, I want to practice remembering -> I want to try memorizing)
  • 語彙: 5点
    • 単語の選択: 5点 (memorize -> memorize, spell -> word, persuade -> point to, refraining -> reviewing)
  • 表現: 5点
    • 表現の冗長さ: 2点 (it is easy that -> simply, I can remember spells if I continue to do it for 1week -> I can memorize words by continuing this method for a week, I can remember english spells with refraining same area for 1week -> I can memorize English words by reviewing the same material for a week)
    • 不自然な表現: 3点 (only persuading spell english and translation of japanese at once with pointing simultaneously -> simply pointing to the English word and its Japanese translation simultaneously)

添削箇所と添削理由

文法・構文:

  • 単語のスペルミス:
    • memorize -> memorize
    • spell -> word
    • refraining -> reviewing
  • 文法的な誤り:
    • have been remarkable -> is gaining attention
    • that method is only persuading -> the method involves simply pointing to
    • I can remember spells -> I can memorize words
    • I can remember english spells -> I can memorize English words
    • promise that I can remember if only I refraining -> assuming that I can memorize by reviewing
  • 構文の誤り:
    • 10 minite study -> 10-minute study
    • I want to practice remembering -> I want to try memorizing

語彙:

  • 単語の選択:
    • memorize -> memorize
    • spell -> word
    • persuade -> point to
    • refraining -> reviewing

表現:

  • 表現の冗長さ:
    • it is easy that -> simply
    • I can remember spells if I continue to do it for 1week -> I can memorize words by continuing this method for a week
    • I can remember english spells with refraining same area for 1week -> I can memorize English words by reviewing the same material for a week
  • 不自然な表現:
    • only persuading spell english and translation of japanese at once with pointing simultaneously -> simply pointing to the English word and its Japanese translation simultaneously

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