*Geminiによる採点
今日の題材
田舎の生活スタイルのほうが都会の生活スタイルよりも好ましいですか。
添削後の回答
I believe that a rural lifestyle is preferable to an urban lifestyle for several reasons. First, humans have evolved in nature, and spending time in a natural environment is beneficial for our physical and mental health. Studies have shown that exposure to nature reduces stress, improves mood, and boosts cognitive function. Second, rural areas tend to have lower levels of pollution than urban areas, which can contribute to a healthier lifestyle. Finally, rural communities often have a stronger sense of community and social support, which can also be beneficial for our well-being. In conclusion, while there are certainly some advantages to urban living, I believe that the benefits of a rural lifestyle outweigh the drawbacks. If you are looking for a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life, then consider moving to the country.
自分の解答
I feel that a rural lifestyle is preferable to an urban lifestyle. In general, mankind have been evolving in the nature. The rural nature rethome is good for our health. In addition, the urban stress make our health worsen. The reason mentioned above, a rural lifestyle which has nature is the best environment for human.
Genmiによる講評
添削箇所と添削理由
文法・語彙
- “mankind have been evolving”: 動詞 “have been evolving” は三人称単数現在形なので、主語 “mankind” も三人称単数にする必要があります。修正例：“Mankind has been evolving”
- “The rural nature rethome is good for our health.”: “rethome” は誤字と思われます。おそらく “environment” が正しいと考えられます。修正例：“The rural natural environment is good for our health.”
- “The urban stress make our health worsen.”: “make” は三人称単数現在形なので、主語 “urban stress” も三人称単数にする必要があります。また、”worsen” は自動詞なので、”make” の代わりに “cause” を使う必要があります。修正例：“Urban stress causes our health to worsen.”
論理構成
- 最初の文で結論を述べているのは良いのですが、その後具体的な理由が示されていないため、論理構成が弱いです。それぞれの理由を具体的に説明する必要があります。
表現力
- 全体的に表現が単調で、語彙の幅が狭いです。より豊富な語彙を使って、表現を豊かにする必要があります。