*Geminiによる採点
覚えたい表現
・be superior to〜：〜より優れている
・ease of communication with 〜：コミュニケーションのしやすさ（名詞の括りを作る、メタモルフィーゼ）
・fresh perspectives：新しい発想（考え）
今日の題材
Is a rural lifestyle preferable to an urban lifestyle?
→都会の生活のほうが好ましい
添削後の回答
I firmly believe that an urban lifestyle is superior to a rural one. Firstly, urban areas attract us with their diverse range of facilities and sources of inspiration. Additionally, the ease of communication with many people in urban environments fosters new ideas and fresh perspectives. Finally, rural life can easily become monotonous and lacking in stimulation. In conclusion, an active urban environment offers a more fulfilling and enjoyable life.
自分の解答
I absolutely feel that a urban lifestyle is better than rural. First of all, a rural life attract us because of various facillity and inspiration. In addition, we can easy to communicate with many people in urban area and it leads to fresh thought. Finally, we easily feel boring in rural life. In conclusion, we can enjoy our life at active urban.
Genmiによる講評
添削箇所と添削理由
文法・構文
- 1文目: “I absolutely feel that a urban lifestyle is better than rural.”
- “a urban lifestyle” -> “an urban lifestyle” (冠詞の修正)
- “better than rural” -> “better than a rural lifestyle” (名詞の修正)
- 2文目: “a rural life attract us because of various facillity and inspiration.”
- “attract us” -> “attracts us” (主語と動詞の一致)
- “facillity” -> “facilities” (スペルミス)
- “various facillity and inspiration” -> “various facilities and sources of inspiration” (語彙の修正)
- 3文目: “In addition, we can easy to communicate with many people in urban area and it leads to fresh thought.”
- “we can easy to communicate” -> “we can easily communicate” (副詞の位置)
- “it leads to fresh thought” -> “it leads to new ideas and fresh perspectives” (表現の修正)
- 4文目: “Finally, we easily feel boring in rural life.”
- “we easily feel boring” -> “we easily get bored” (表現の修正)
- 5文目: “In conclusion, we can enjoy our life at active urban.”
- “at active urban” -> “in an active urban environment” (表現の修正)
語彙・表現
- “facillity” -> “facilities” (スペルミス)
- “various facillity and inspiration” -> “various facilities and sources of inspiration” (語彙の修正)
- “it leads to fresh thought” -> “it leads to new ideas and fresh perspectives” (表現の修正)
- “we easily feel boring” -> “we easily get bored” (表現の修正)
- “at active urban” -> “in an active urban environment” (表現の修正)
論理展開
- 各段落の論理的な繋がりをより明確にする