*Geminiによる採点
覚えたい英語表現
・There are pros and cons to…：…には賛否する
・A, whereas B：A、だが一方 B
・nothing can compare to …：…に匹敵するものはない
今日の題材
どちらに対しても賛否両論がありますが、私は都会生活のほうが若者には向いていると思います。一方で、田舎暮らしは老後を過ごすのに最高の方法だと思います。若い時期に、人は多くの経験を積む必要があります。また、若者は異なったものの見方にオープンである必要があるのです。田舎での暮らしはとても窮屈な場合もあります。しかしながら、私たちは歳を取ると、それほど多くの刺激はいりません。日々、ストレスがより少なく、静かにしている時間やのんびりと活動する時間がもっと多ければ、ずっとうまくやっていけるのです。歳を取ったら、鳥の囀りに合わせて目覚め、四季の移ろいを眺めることで十分なのです。ですから、（都会と田舎の）どちらにも適切な時節というものがあるのです。
添削後の回答
There are pros and cons to both urban and rural lifestyles. However, I believe that urban life is more suitable for young people, while rural life is a better choice for seniors.
During their youth, people need to accumulate a variety of experiences and be open to different perspectives. Urban life offers more opportunities for young people to explore their interests and build their careers. In contrast, living in a rural area can be quite boring, limiting personal growth and development.
As we age, our need for stimulation decreases. We crave less stress and more quiet time for relaxation and reflection. Rural life provides the perfect environment for seniors to enjoy the peace and quiet of nature, waking up to the sound of birds and observing the changing seasons.
Therefore, both urban and rural lifestyles have their own advantages and disadvantages. It is important to choose the lifestyle that best suits our needs and preferences at each stage of life.
There are pros and cons to both, but I feel that city life is more suited to younger people, whereas country life is the best way to spend one’s golden years. When people are young, they need to gain a lot of experiences. They also need to be open to different points of views. Life in the country can be very stifling. So, for younger people, nothing can compare to life in the city. However, when we get older, we don’t need all that stimulation. We manage better with less stress, and more time to be silent and more slowly through our days. When we are older, it is enough to wake up to the sound of birds singing, and to watch the seasons change. So, there is a proper time for both.
自分の解答
There are pros and cons to both lifestyle, but I think urban life is suitable for young people. On the other hand, living in rural life is the best choice to spend senior life. People need to have a lot of experiences when they are young. Young people also need to open their perspective to difference thing. Living in rural may makes us very boring. However, we don’t need more stimulation when we become older. Everyday, lower stress, more quite time and calm activity are good for us. When older, only awaking with bird voice and seeing seasons transition is sufficient.Therefore, both rural and urban life have appropriate time.
Genmiによる講評
減点箇所と減点点数
- 文法・語彙（合計15点）
- “There are pros and cons to both lifestyle” の “lifestyle” は不可算名詞なので単数形に修正 (-2点)
- “On the other hand” はフォーマルな表現なので、よりカジュアルな表現に修正 (-1点)
- “living in rural life” は冗長なので “living in a rural area” に修正 (-2点)
- “makes us very boring” は文法的に誤っているので “can be quite boring” に修正 (-5点)
- “awaking with bird voice” は不自然な表現なので “waking up to the sound of birds” に修正 (-5点)
- 表現・論理（合計5点）
- “suitable for young people” は曖昧な表現なので、より具体的な表現に修正 (-2点)
- “open their perspective to difference thing” は文法的に誤っているので “be open to different perspectives” に修正 (-3点)
添削箇所と添削理由
文法・語彙
- “lifestyle” の単数形化
- “There are pros and cons to both lifestyle” の “lifestyle” は不可算名詞なので、単数形に修正します。
- 修正後: “There are pros and cons to both a lifestyle”
- “On the other hand” の言い換え
- “On the other hand” はフォーマルな表現なので、よりカジュアルな表現に修正します。
- 修正例: “In contrast,” “However,”
- “living in rural life” の冗長表現の修正
- “living in rural life” は冗長なので “living in a rural area” に修正します。
- 修正後: “living in a rural area”
- “makes us very boring” の文法修正
- “makes us very boring” は文法的に誤っているので “can be quite boring” に修正します。
- 修正後: “can be quite boring”
- “awaking with bird voice” の自然な表現への修正
- “awaking with bird voice” は不自然な表現なので “waking up to the sound of birds” に修正します。
- 修正後: “waking up to the sound of birds“
表現・論理
- “suitable for young people” の具体化
- “suitable for young people” は曖昧な表現なので、より具体的な表現に修正します。
- 修正例: “offers more opportunities for young people to explore their interests and build their careers”
- “open their perspective to difference thing” の文法修正
- “open their perspective to difference thing” は文法的に誤っているので “be open to different perspectives” に修正します。
- 修正後: “be open to different perspectives“