*Geminiによる採点
覚えたい英語表現
・it is a great feeling：…するのは気分のいいものだ
・pass on：（物事）を～に伝える、つなぐ
・involves sacrifice and long-term commitment：犠牲と長期にわたる義務
今日の題材
家を持って、ひと区画の土地を自分のものと呼べるのは素晴らしいことです。小さな家しか持てなくても、子供たちに残せる何かを持っていると分かっていることは素晴らしい気分です。私は、いつの日にかお金を払って借りるのを永遠にやめて自分自身の家に引っ越せるように、懸命に働いて貯金しています。私にとって、お金を払って借りることは、お金を捨てているような感覚です。決して自分のものにはならないもののために払い続けるのです。家の所有者になる事には、ちょうど結婚のように犠牲と長期にわたる義務が伴います。そして、結婚のように素晴らしい利点があるのです。私の両親は、真の成長の象徴として家を所有することの重要性について、多くのアドバイスをくれました。両親に誇りに思ってもらえる日を楽しみにしています。
添削後の回答
Owning a house and a range of land is good. Even if owning a small house, it is a great feeling to have something for generations. I’m struggling to work and saving money so that I stop renting forever and move toward my own house. Renting with paying money feels like throwing money away for me. I have to pay money for something I will never own. Becoming a house owner has long-time responsibility and sacrifice just like married. In addition, it has a great advantage like married. My parents gave me many advices about the importance of owning a house for real growth. Therefore, I’m looking forward to the date when my parents feel proud of me.
To own a home, and be able to call a piece of1 land your own, is great. Even if we can only have a tiny home2, it is a great feeling3 to know that we have something that we can pass on4 to our children. I am working hard and saving my money so that some day5 I will leave renting behind for good, and move into my own home. Renting feels like throwing money away to me. I pay and pay for something that never becomes mine. Home ownership involves sacrifice and long-term commitment,6 just like a marriage7. And, like a marriage, there are great benefits. My parents have given me lots of advice about the importance of owning a home as a true sign fo maturity8. I am looking forward to the day9 I can make them proud!
自分の解答
Owning a house and a range of land is good. Even if owning a small house, it is a great feeeling to have something for generations. I’m straggring to work and saving money so that I stop renting forever and move toward my own house. Renting with paying money feels like thorwing money away for me. I have to pay moeny for never own house. Becoming house owner have long-time responsibility and victim just like maried. In addition, it has a great advantage like maried. My parents gave me many advices about importance of owning house regarding of a real growth. Therefore, I’m looking forward to come a date that my parents feel proud for me.
Claude3 による講評
- “straggring” should be “struggling” (-5点)
- “thorwing” should be “throwing” (-5点)
- “moeny” should be “money” (-5点)
- “never own house” should be “something I will never own” (-5点)
- “victim” should be “sacrifice” (-5点)
- “maried” should be “married” (-10点)
- “regarding of” should be “for” (-5点)
添削箇所と添削理由:
- “straggring” は “struggling” の誤植です。
- “thorwing” は “throwing” の誤植です。
- “moeny” は “money” の誤植です。
- “never own house” は意味が不明瞭なので、”something I will never own” と修正しました。
- “victim” は “sacrifice” の意味ではありません。
- “maried” は “married” の誤植です。
- “regarding of” は不自然な表現なので、”for” に修正しました。